Things People Say

Last night Justin and I watched a video (posted below) posted by a friend earlier this week.  It was a humorous account of the silly, dumb, or unbelievable things people say and ask.  Justin has rarely been approached or asked questions about our family or adoption when he has been out with the kids, maybe because he is a guy or maybe because people assume his wife is asian.  Unlike him, I think this video is very true in the things people have said to me and many other adoptive moms that I know.  Now I understand that not all people are ignorant, that some are just curious and want to find out more about a transracial family. I try to respectfully deflect the question or smile and walk away, which should give a hint.  When my children were young, it was easier to respond to people when they asked questions.  Now, I try to avoid answering or I walk away because it makes my children upset when people "target" them.  We have taught our children how to respond to some of these questions, such as

"Where are they from"

My response is " We are from Madison"

"Do they speak English"

"Yes"

"Do you know who their REAL parents are"

"Yes, her/his dad and mom are right here"

"Are they brother and sister?"

"Yes, they are" (no explanation is needed in my opinion)

Honestly, the most fun for me is when I have my kids and my daycare kids.  I get comments no matter where we go due to the number of kids I have with me.  People usually ask if they are all mine.  Depending on my mood and my time for additional questions or conversation, I may answer yes or I say no and point to the kids who are mine or point to the ones who are not mine.  That response is usually a look of confusion (the daycare kids could pass as my biological kids).

I could tell some stories that would make your mouth hang open, but I won't.  I am thankful for our local adoption group who has taught me over the years how to respond to some crazy questions and comments from people.  It was hard at first, but over time, anyone who is truly interested in our family or adoption is welcome to email me or call me so we can talk more about it when I am not with my kids.